It's been far too long.. Time for a comeback (!)

All this New Year's Resolution business is funny. I used to be a mega-resolution maker with lengthy, elaborate lists of things to change or improve, ranging from superficial physicalities, to deeply-rooted character adjustments, to habit changes in daily living. Then I became anti-all of that because I just wasn’t real impressed efforts to change that were initiated solely because it was time to buy new calendars. Don't get me wrong, I'll be the first to say there are things I'd like to change about my life, and I also think the end of year/holiday season is a natural time to reflect and reassess. But I also think that if I truly desire to change, I should be pro-active regardless of convenient societal phases of 'newness.'

To reach goals, some like to establish tight parameters boxing in their behavior, keeping the path to success on the straight and narrow. But ultimately, perfect adherence to stringent rules and schedules is not necessarily life-enriching in itself, nor is it change-yielding. Like a kid in a school class- perfect attendance would matter very little if not accompanied by participation and engaging the curriculum.

It's funny because 'attendace' in the context of life would probably just refer to being physically present, simply breathing, heart beating... real inspiring huh? So while showing up for the job consistently is commendable, it won't necessarily incite growth.

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So as I contemplated setting a new year's resolution for 2010, January 1st came and went with little inspiration, and I still wasn't sure if I wanted to sign up for some lofty goal. Then late-night January 5th came, my 24th birthday-eve. That night I lay on my floor, a little perplexed and mildly overwhelmed about the thought of entering what I suppose to be my ‘mid-twenties.’ Mind unclear, I naturally took out a fat marker and a disassembled Trader Joe's paper bag and I wrote, and wrote furiously. Quick blurbs of thought lightened up some deep personal analyses; the overarching theme of it all seemed to be born of some lavish desire for newness.

So I responded to the evident urge of this 24th year- I made a ‘New Life-Year’s Resolution:’

DO SOMETHING NEW, EVERY DAY.

It’s just so frighteningly easy to pass through an entire day lazily, carrying on as steady as possible to accommodate comfort and ease above all. How many times have I gone from sun up to sundown without stepping once outside my daily muscle memory long enough to realize how many opportunities there were to move through time uniquely? I think most of the time we have a choice, an equal opportunity- either to slip through a moment passively, ineffectually, OR to participate in your own life affectively, and open to being affected.
So this little endeavor of mine could entail making something I've never made before- creating of any kind (because creating inherently ushers newness), trying a new recipe or restaurant, changing a habitual routine, taking part in a new activity... etc etc etc. Sounds easy enough, right? At the inception of this whole thing, I was flooded with ideas of things to try.. but as a realist I know it's difficult to label anything consistent these days. So even the smallest of tasks could present quite a challenge to keep up.

What’s most important in all this though, is that my commitment lies in trying, not in perfection.

Because I will inevitably fail some days, and the self-deprecation and discouragement that would typically ensue won’t be of any use. So when I miss a day of newness- I’ll simply acknowledge my imperfection, yet recognize I’m still worth enough to keep trying.

So New #1 for me was snowboarding @ Snow Summit with family, a huge log cabin, late night poker, junk food... Who could ask for more? And yes, my tailbone was bruised for over a week, but through all the falling I found it fun enough to want to go again :)

From here on, I'll try to check back in regularly to share my New’s, as I'll call them. I've no idea what will come of all this, maybe great things maybe not.. but I feel good about finding out..