On Escapes (and still more on pain)

(to preface: I began writing this one soon after I wrote the initial Pain piece, but of course neglected it and lost track. Came across it again and it still resonates, so I buffed it up a bit and here goes...)

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HURT, I WONDER? Sometimes all I can do is escape..

Human escapes are myriad: alcohol, shopping, eating, dating, gambling... they can all be thieves. They can also be illusionists, taking reality and dressing it up in a new outfit, perhaps softer fabrics and more attractive colors..

Escapes are seductive.

..but when they prove themselves empty and deceptive (and when abused, they always do) how else do you exist in the eye of your storm? I’ve been thinking about refining my struggles, letting all the curiosity and loneliness and wonder manifest however they want..

Better to consume it all and use it, before it consumes us.

I’m reminded of Ray Lamontagne speaking to his demons, fierce and poignant, disregarding fear like some pedestrian absurdity:

“I looked my demons in the eyes, laid bare my chest, said ‘Do your best to destroy me.. see, I’ve been to hell and back so many times I must admit you kinda bore me.’ There’s a lot of things that can kill a man, there’s a lot of ways to die. Yes and some already did and walk beside me..”

In the face of your demons, I can’t think of anything more powerful than to call them small and mundane, bare your chest, and ask for more.

Don't let your demons take the fight out of you;

in fact, they should put the fight back in.

Burn

I've been told that during workouts you must always push past the initial sting of muscle fatigue. When your muscles first start to feel tired is precisely when you need to push harder, because remaining after that point is what will get you results. Once the burn has set in, it's tempting to quit in the interest of the body's desire for comfort. But to gain the most from a workout it's imperative to dig deeper than that first pain and ultimately, you will be much stronger for it.

I believe this is much like love, as it is most powerful, most compelling, shows its deepest colors of commitment, and experiences most profound depth and growth when upheld

through the burn.

Sometimes, the most healthy and necessary thing you can do is get outside of yourself.. step away from the vacuum of your own cyclical worries and analyses to nourish yourself with the reminder that all along, there has been an entire world carrying on outside while you were cooped up in your own mind..